Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts

Thursday

Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies? #Joke

Looking for a laugh of two? Below, we have today's posting of the top 10m best jokes that we found online!

Kidnapping at school, humor



    Here is today' collection of the top ten favorite jokes of the day!
  1. Little Brian,"The principal is so dumb!"
    Girl, "Do you know who I am?"
    Little Brian, "No..."
    Girl, "I am the principal's daughter!"
    Little Brian, "Do you know who I am?"
    Girl,"No..."
    Little Brian, "Good!" and walks away*

  2. Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.

  3. Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?
    A: The scientists were brainstorming!

  4. Q: Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?
    A: Neither, they both weigh a ton!

  5. On wall in ladies room "My husband follows me everywhere..."
    Written just below it "I do not".

  6. When I asked my girlfriend what she wanted for her birthday.
    She said "Just gimme something with diamonds."
    That's why I got her a pack of cards.

  7. Q: What did the painter say to the wall?
    A: One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!

  8. Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
    A monkey!

  9. "Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud." "Yes sir, it's fresh ground."

  10. Q: Why is Basketball such a messy sport?
    A: Because you dribble on the floor!


  11. For More Short Jokes



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Monday

Italian Chef



Just wanted to share a little humor about the Italian Chef that died! This was joke wasn't posted to offend anyone! Just a little word humor to maybe make you laugh (helps if you say the joke out loud)!



Did you hear about the Italian Chef Who Died?

  1. He pasta away.
  2. You never sausage a tragic thing!
  3. His wife really upset. Cheese not over it yet!
  4. Sending olive my prayers to the family.
  5. How sad that he ran out of thyme.
  6. Here today, gone tomato
  7. his legacy will be part of pizza history
  8. We cannoli do so much
Italian Chef Who died humor, BrianMcItalian Chef Joke

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Today's Joke-Asylum-Bathtub

Here is the joke of the day! During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?"

"Well," said the director, "We fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No," answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."
Joke borrowed from http://www.retrojunkie.com/jokes/medical.htm
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