Showing posts with label short blonde jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label short blonde jokes. Show all posts

Friday

Today's Best Blonde Jokes - 1



Here is today's collection of the five best, funny, short and yet dumb blonde jokes! Enjoy, maybe share your favorite short (not height wise) blonde joke in the comment section of the blog. Even share them on Facebook or Twitter!

  1. Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
    A: And I thought blondes were dumb!


  2. A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.

    She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks.

    Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping and her and asking if someone else could have a go.

    The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: “Can’t you see I’m winning?”


  3. A blonde called the local city council asking them to remove the deer crossing sign near her home since many deer were being hit and killed there.

    Her reason? She didn’t want the deer to cross there anymore!


  4. A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!”

    Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!” Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!”
    Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sits the picture in the middle and the table erupts.

    Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!” The bartender can’t contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child’s puzzle of the Cookie Monster.

    When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, “What’s all the chanting and celebration about?”

    The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, “Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. The side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!”


  5. The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company.

    He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked,

    “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?”

    The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.”

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  • Today's Blonde Joke,(myway2fortune.info,BrianMc)
    Today's Best Blonde Joke

    Thursday

    Today's Best Blonde Jokes



    You-can-become-BrianMc
    You can become..


    Here is today's collection of the five best, funny, short and yet dumb blonde jokes! Enjoy, maybe share your favorite short (not height wise) blonde joke in the comment section of the blog. Even share them on Facebook or Twitter!

    1. A blonde got her first job at the Canadian Museum of Natural History.
      One day, a tourist was staring at the dinosaur bones.
      One of them asks the blonde, “Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?”

      The blonde replies, “They are 3 million, three days, and six hours old.”

      “That’s an awfully exact number,” says the tourist. “How do you know their age so precisely?”

      The blonde answers, “Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was three days, and six hours ago.”


    2. A couple of blondes in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blondes walked in the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”

      The clerk said, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?”

      The blonde said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-fours.”

      “Alright. How long do you need them?”

      The blonde customer paused for a minute and said, “I’d better go check.” After awhile, the blonde returned to the office and said, “A long time. We’re gonna build a house.”


    3. When a blonde’s house caught on fire, she called the fire department. The fireman on the phone asked, “Can you tell us how to get there?”

      She replied “Duh! Big red truck!”


    4. A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

      “Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”

      The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast and screams, then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more agony. She pushes her knee and screams; likewise she pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.

      The doctor says, “You’re not really a redhead, are you?”

      “Well, no” she says, “I’m actually a blonde.”

      “I thought so,” the doctor says. “Your finger is broken.”


    5. Q: Why can't Blondes make ice cubes?
      A: They always forget the recipe.

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  • Monday

    Best Blonde Short Jokes



    Here is my collection of funny, short and yet dumb blonde jokes! Enjoy, maybe share your favorite short (not height wise) blonde joke. Even share them on Facebook or Twitter!

  • Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
    A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.


  • Q: Why can't blondes water-ski?
    A: When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down.


  • Q: What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?
    A: If either one of them end up on there back they are both f*cked.


  • Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
    A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.


  • Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
    A: The Panama Canal is a busy ditch.


  • Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde?
    A: One's a phony buck.


  • Q: Who is the best blonde secretary in the world?
    A: One that never misses a period.


  • Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
    A: An Italian suppository.


  • Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?
    A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.


  • Q: Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?
    A: She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.


  • Pregnant Blonde

  • Q: Why does a blonde wear green lipstick?
    A: Because red means Stop.


  • Q: What do you give the blonde who has everything?
    A: Penicillin.


  • Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
    A: Tell her she's pregnant.


  • A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You sl*t! How many is a brazilian?"


  • Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
    A: Last year's hide-and-go-seek winner.


  • Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
    A: A whine cellar.


  • Q: How do you know a blonde likes you?
    A: She screws you two nights in a row.


  • Q: What does a blonde say if you blow in her ear?
    A: "Thanks for the refill!"


  • Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
    A: They pull up their pants.


  • Q: How do you get a blonde on the roof?
    A: Tell her drinks are on the house.


  • Q: Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
    A: It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.


  • Q: What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
    A: They drowned in Spring training.


  • Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
    A: To see what was on the other side.


  • Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
    A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.


  • Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice?
    A: Because it said 'concentrate'.


  • Q: What do smart Blondes and UFOs have in common?
    A: You always hear about them but you never see them.
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